Two Quick Political Rants

(1) Okay, so this first one isn’t really a rant. I just think this story from the Onion is hysterical: 11

Reaganomics Finally Trickles Down To Area Man

“Back when Reagan was in charge, I didn’t think much of him,” Kellener, 57, said, holding up two five-dollar bills nearly three decades in the making. “But who would have thought that in 2007 I’d have this extra $10 in my pocket? He may not have lived to see it, but I’m sure President Reagan is up in heaven smiling down on me right now.”

Leading economists say Kellener’s unexpected windfall provides the first irrefutable proof of the effectiveness of Reagan’s so-called supply-side economics, and shows that the former president had “incredible, far-reaching foresight.”

“When the tax burden on the upper income brackets is lifted, the rich and not-rich alike all benefit,” said Arthur Laffer, who was a former member of Reagan’s Economic Policy Advisory Board. “Eventually.”

So when can I expect my pair of Lincolns? 12

(2) A little over a week ago, I said I’d vote for Hillary if none of the other frontrunners were on the Michigan ballot. Well, let’s just say I’m re-thinking that position:

Chris Dodd has put together an impressive list of accomplishments and issue positions during the past year. Here are some of them:

*Promised to get all troops out of Iraq by 2013, something Clinton, Obama and Edwards did not do.
*Took leadership roles during the Iraq supplemental fight, and now during the FISA fight.
*Has also taken leadership on Habeas Corpus.
*Supports a carbon tax instead of a cap and trade policy, something Al Gore has praised Dodd for in the past.
*Always says the right thing, whether it is on Iraq, supporting the netroots or, well, seemingly anything.

Hey, if I can’t vote for Obama or Edwards (which was my original inclination), that basically leaves me Dodd and Clinton. Voting for either probably won’t make much of a difference on the outcome of the race, so I might as well go with the guy who most reflects my values. That, or I could cross over and vote for this guy.

Attack of the Killer Hiccups

My dad told me about Earle’s chronic hiccups last week. This is just crazy:

Just listening to him tell his story, your heart goes out to Earle Robinson.13

“When I wake (hiccup) up in the morning (hiccup) they’re okay, they’re gone (hiccup),” he says, albeit slowly. “But (hiccup) then they come back a couple hours later (hiccup) and it’s been that way (hiccup) every (hiccup)… everyday.”

The medical explanation is his diaphragm’s contracting every few seconds or so–a case of hiccups so persistent it’s town to get a sentence out. It’s been that way since Wednesday.

His co-workers are baffled, and he says his doctors are stumped, and there are few jobs worse to have if you have hiccups than Earle’s.

He does an hour-long radio show called “Sportstalk 870″ on WKAR from 2-3 p.m. weekdays and an hour with Tim Staudt on Staudt on Sports Sundays on WILX.

Staudt explained it to viewers Sunday, and Robinson suffered through the broadcast but his radio chairs been empty for a week.

“I’m starting to feel bad,” producer Rob Bennett says, admitted they’d given him some grief. “I just want him to get back.”

“I’ve tried eating a spoonful of mustard,” he says. He also tried eating a spoonful of peanut butter, drinking water really fast, and drinking water upside down. All failed. Holding his breathe also failed. Valium is helping him sleep and, for now, he’s just praying those hiccups fade away–soon.

God, what a nightmare.

Dad, I’m assigning you the task of busting into Earle’s office tomorrow to try to scare those hiccups out of him.