
"I think you'd have to declare us not a very good basketball team right now," said MSU coach Tom Izzo. "We're definitely struggling."
One of the unseemly things about college basketball is that sometimes a traditional powerhouse will stack its home schedule with patsies. I suspect this is why UCLA is playing Michigan.
"Well, coming in to the year, everyone was talking about how our schedule was difficult because of teams that were previously in the NCAA tournament," Amaker said.
No. Everyone was not talking about that. Michigan was talking about that.
Amaker's Wolverines are 17-37 on the road. Have they really been as bad as the numbers? One could argue that they have been worse.
Michigan's 17 road wins include five over Penn State, which fields a team only for tax purposes. And another two over Northwestern, which never has made the NCAA tournament.
And then there were the road wins that only look good with parenthetical assistance: over (South) Florida and Boston (University, not College). And one over a Minnesota team that finished 10th in the Big Ten. And one over Butler.
Amaker has coached Michigan for six years, tied for the fourth-longest tenure in the Big Ten. For some perspective: He has been here as long as Matt Millen.
He says, "We're one of two teams that have won a true road game in our conference," but that win was a squeaker over Miami (Ohio), which also lost at home to Wright State.
He says, "We finished the year last year 4-1 in postseason, and we're starting this year 11-1, and we had 22 wins last year," and ... well, we have several objections, your honor.
First of all: No matter how many times Amaker refers to the NIT as "the postseason" or "a national tournament," it is still the Leftover Invitational. By Amaker's definition, summer TV reruns are "the postseason."

Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? It’s because it gets you high. They took the cocaine out almost a hundred years ago. You know why? It was redundant.
• In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.
• 20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get it’s hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)
• 40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dialate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.
• 45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.
• >60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.
• >60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.
• >60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

EAST LANSING -- Antonio Smith insists he hasn't given up the pro dreams, but he is returning to Michigan State to complete his degree and serve as a student assistant.
"I really encouraged him to come back and get his degree," coach Tom Izzo said. "Either here or somewhere else, we'll get him a job. He's destined to be a very, very good coach."
Smith, 30, helped pave the way for Michigan State's success with his tenacity during Izzo's first four years as coach, including a trip to the 1999 Final Four.
"He's the guy who started this whole thing," Izzo said. "Even though the (Mateen) Cleaves recruiting class gets the most credit, Antonio probably dragged everybody here.
"He's truly the blue-collar guy. I love having him around the guys."
Smith played in Italy last season, but is coming off his third ankle surgery last summer. He practiced with the team Monday and will begin classes in January.
He plans to finish his teaching degree by the fall.
"It's a time in my life where I have to do it," Smith said. "I have to buckle down and get back to school work."
Izzo is hoping Smith's toughness wears off on his players.
"As a coach, you can't grab guys, you can't verbally abuse them," said Izzo, who then snapped his fingers. " 'Hey, Tone.'
"That will work wonders."